Walking in a Breast Cancer Fighters Shoes

Walking in a breast cancer fighters shoes is not an easy thing. Yes… I used the word fighter….not survivor. It doesn’t roll as smoothly off the tongue as survivor does. When you reach stage IV breast cancer that has metastasised to another part of the body, you have to fight. Fight hard…..physically, emotionally and spiritually……

You fight to become strong again…to do the right things, take the right medicine to heal your body…..

You fight to remain emotionally strong…when you feel the world closing in on you…..

You fight to make sense of it all…..to wrap your mind around the word cancer…..

You fight to be stable for those around you… so they can not see how bad things might be…..

You fight the feelings of helplessness when you go to the doctor to see what the next set of blood tests will hold…

You fight the feelings of fear as you are placed on the PET scan table,  ready for another picture to be taken of your body and your innermost soul, to see if the cancer has progressed, or if you have reached the blessed diagnosis of NED (no evidence of disease)…

You fight to remain your composure, when someone doesn’t understand how deep your hurt is and says something insensitive….

You fight to keep a smile on your face when everyone has left you alone because they think you have been healed, when in reality you haven’t been…

You fight hard not to cry when those who you thought were your friends, become strangers and don’t say anything at all…….

You fight to put away the feelings that say…. I did something to cause all of this….in some way this is my fault…

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”
~Helen Keller

This character building walk is not an easy one. Everyone deals with metastatic breast cancer differently. Each person has their own anchor that they hang on to. Each person fights in a different way, even on the days when they feel they have no energy left to fight at all.

You fight to hold fast to your relationship with the Lord….to look to Him for the needed strength…realizing that He is the only way you are able to get through this..

You fight each day to raise your hands in prayer and worship the Father…

You fight to make each moment count with your children… to soak up all the seconds that tick away at the clock, to tell them you love them more than they could imagine…. to the moon and back….

You fight to stand strong on the scriptures that hold  promises of healing, protection and that God is always with us…….

You fight to find moments of joy and grace in the midst of the suffering to be thankful for…realizing that those captured moments make the experience come alive for a greater good and not total despair…

You fight each day to form habits that your children will see and take with them into their adult years….habits of giving it all to God and relying on Him to get them through.

“I can do everything through Him who gives me strength” Philippians 4:13

When you have breast cancer, you fight every day to survive. To make the most of every minute. Most importantly I fight to make sure God is glorified in everything. Walking the road of having breast cancer is not one that I am perfect at, but one that I go about daily, one step at a time with my Father right beside me. It’s a learning lesson that never stops for me and my family. It’s a lesson that I want to finish strong in, and have the Father say well done.

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Many blessings to you this day!

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