I have been quiet around here lately. These last two years have been challenging for me. These past 24 months have been filled with... My mother being diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Selling her home and moving her into and assisted living facility. Dealing with a stage IV breast cancer diagnosis and all the uncertainty that it brings. Side affects of chemotherapy. Financial difficulties. Family difficulties. Struggles in relationships. The fear of not being good enough. Put all of these things together and it does not make for a very good combination. The last point, the fear of not being good enough, is what has really put a halt to my writing. I went to a writers conference in 2013, my first conference actually. The writers conference was wonderful. I made new ... read more
All it Took was One Phone Call (Part 1)
Throughout the month of October, I'll be sharing my ongoing journey of overcoming anxiety, and how the Lord has been working on my heart. It's my prayer that the Lord will speak to you during this time, and draw you closer to Him, as we walk this road of life together. To follow along, and to catch up on any posts you might have missed, you can join me here at Fear or Faith, You Choose ~ A 31 Day Journey to Overcoming Anxiety. I realized that the deepest spiritual lessons are not learned by His letting us have our own way in the end, but by Him making us wait, bearing with us in love and patience until we are able to honestly pray what He taught His disciples to pray: Thy will be done. ~ Elisabeth Elliot I remember the day like it was yesterday. It was Monday August 4th, 2003. ... read more
God’s Masterpiece
She slowly moved to the front room of her house, she was tired and worn, the years of fighting cancer had taken it's tole on her body and spirit. She sat in her wicker chair and stared at the canvas that was covered in brush strokes that had been placed there long ago. The rays of the sun warmed her face and made the watermelon red, russet orange, lemon yellow, and brilliant blue paint strokes come alive. As she sat there she felt like the painting was begging her to be made whole, to be transformed into the beautiful masterpiece that it was intended to be. As she picked up the brush, tears ran down her eyes.......tears that had been welled up inside her for years. The tears came from the pain of the many rounds of chemotherapy, radiation, injections, and surgeries that had ravaged ... read more
31 Days to a Better Marriage
Years ago, my fairy tale came true, the day I walked down the aisle to the man of my dreams. When you are young and the newness of marriage still sparkles in all it's glory, many husbands and wives think that problems will never come their way. At least that's what I thought, "No not us," I scoffed, we will be the ones living in the quaint little house with the white picket fence, living the perfect life. Little did we know that the vows we spoke on September 26th, 1992, would be put to the test time and time again. Especially when the word, cancer, decided to take up residence and make it self at home inside the marriage we thought was unshakable. When I heard that awful word I knew I had a choice, I could either give up and wallow in self pity, or I could claim victory in Jesus ... read more
Ten Hours into the Unknown
Every Wednesday at Leaving A Legacy, I'm going to be sharing with you my journey as a breast cancer fighter. I hope you'll join me on this journey.....I'm going to be very transparent and very real, as I share with you what the Lord has placed on my heart, one step at a time. Photo Credit As the days before my surgery inched closer, the fear in my heart grew. “What kind of woman would I be for my husband?” The voices of the enemy kept telling me, "I would never be the same again." The words, “I’m so sorry” was the phrase that always crossed my lips anytime I saw my husband. He of course kept telling me, “Stop it! The only thing that mattered was me being there for him and the kids.” The day before my surgery we were in the examination room at the plastic surgeon's office. We were ... read more
He Hears and He Answers
Every Wednesday at Leaving A Legacy, I'm going to be sharing with you my journey as a breast cancer fighter. I hope you'll join me on this journey.....I'm going to be very transparent and very real, as I share with you what the Lord has placed on my heart, one step at a time. Photo Credit My husband and I went to see my surgeon with fear and dread settling in the pits of our stomachs. As we pulled into the parking lot, I thought of a million other places I would rather be, anywhere but here I thought....... anywhere on earth. Once we reached his office and all the pleasantries had been made, we got down to business. He explained what type of cancer I had, the only parts I can remember him saying were, it was estrogen positive, and HER2-. Many cancer survivors can tell you down to the ... read more
One Step at a Time
Every Wednesday at Leaving A Legacy, I'm going to be sharing with you my journey as a breast cancer fighter. I hope you'll join me on this journey.....I'm going to be very transparent and very real, as I share with you what the Lord has placed on my heart, one step at a time. Photo Credit A scream tore through the ordinary day, of my ordinary life. It was a scream that started the nightmare. It was a scream that made me grow up. It shook me to my very core. We had just gotten home from a family errand, my husband had left for work, and there on the answering machine was the message I dreaded most. Nervously, I hit play, and my doctor’s voice played loud and clear, “Shari, you need to call my office as soon as possible." I quickly called my doctor to confirm the news; it was the dreaded C ... read more
Be Still and Know that I am God
Today I am visiting Lisa - Jo for Five Minute Friday. We write for five minutes on a specific word, no editing, no back tracking, just five minutes of whatever God places on our hearts. Please take a moment to click hereand join in the fun. The word for today is..... Quiet. The snow falls softly to the ground as I drive down the lonesome country back road. I pull over to the side and get out of my car and walk to a clearing in the distance. I hear the snow crunch underneath my feet as I walk towards the woods to take in the beauty of the winter wonderland. The crisp chill of the air awakens my lungs as I breathe in deep to take in the quiet that surrounds me. I am a solitary traveler, who's wandered into a world of my own where no outside noise can wear away at who I really am. I find ... read more
A Chapter of Faith {I Sure Wish I Could See}
I look at my own life as a book. Within my book of life there are many chapters, childhood, being a teenager, college, marriage, children and the list goes on. I would consider myself to be towards the middle of my book, buried deep into a chapter that can be very hard to read and understand...... it is my chapter of faith.As I walk the path of being a breast cancer survivor, I am currently elbow deep into learning what faith means. It's so easy to say the word, but another thing to truly know it and believe it. I've had many chances to learn faith. Chances that have brought me down on my knees in prayer with tears rolling down my eyes, hands gripping tightly to my worn Bible as the word ,"Why?" was the only thing I could utter. I know that all of our chapters read differently. We have all ... read more
“Mom, Why Does God Allow These Things to Happen?”
Last week my daughter and I were talking about some difficulties that we were both facing. As we were talking she looked up at me with her big green eyes that reflected my own and said, "Mom, why does God allow these things to happen?" That's when I had one of those moments.....you know....the ones where your heart sinks down to the pit of your stomach and you want to rush to your baby and make all the confusion and pain go away. Yep, one of those. My response to her was, "God allows these things to happen so that we can grow closer to Him and be a witness to Him through our difficulties." She had a blank look on her face as I kept talking, I could tell that she didn't quite understand. The truth is sometimes.......neither do I.It is easy to say one thing and know that in your heart ... read more