Nearly a lifetime ago, my husband and I, stood up in front of friends and family, pledging our love and lives to each other. At age twenty-two and twenty-three, we were so young, so excited for the life that was ahead of us. Fast forward twenty years later; here we are…..what a story we can tell. Our tale has two sides. One side includes two children, love, commitment, happiness, memories, laughter and following the Lord. The next side includes, one baby in heaven with Jesus, the death of a parent, a possible Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis, financial difficulties and breast cancer. Not only did breast cancer knock once, but twice, with the second knock being that of a stage IV diagnosis. Put this all together and it can create a recipe….a recipe for growth and learning, or……. a recipe for complete and utter disaster.
Ever been there? Been at the stage in your marriage where so much adversity has happened that you feel it could all fall apart? I know my husband and I have. We have come through the darkest, stormiest nights to wake up to the brightest of sunrises, with the melody of the birds singing in the distant trees.
What makes the difference between a broken marriage and a union that will stand the test of time? God has shown my husband and me two important answers to these questions. The first answer being, we can’t let our egos get in the way. Mark 3:25 states,
“If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.”
A marriage is made up of two people, not one. Sometimes it is so easy to demand that our personal interests come first. When the seed of selfishness gets planted deeply in our soul, it can be a very hard root to break loose.
At a wedding I attended, I heard a preacher talk about the unity of marriage in a new way. He stated that when a husband and wife are to the point of a disagreement, which could turn into a full blown argument, they need to remember that they are on the same team. It’s two moving forward for one common purpose to love and honor God. Not one sighing, stamping his or her foot, and demanding their own way.
God wants a husband and wife to work together as one, not as separate entities. When we let pride over take us, and we go off on own, the marriage stops working properly. Just like the body of Christ does not work well when we each try to accomplish things for our own glory.
In God’s word, it states that within the union of marriage, wives and husbands each have a separate role. It’s important that we follow God’s will in this.
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.” Ephesians 4:26
As the chapters of our lives continue to move onward, both my husband and I have mellowed with age. With difficult life lessons molded into our beings, we have come to the point of knowing that being united together is a great privilege. This brings me to the second answer we have learned in how to create a union that will stand the test of time…
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” Deuteronomy 6:5.
It’s a joy to be moving forward as one, making the Lord first priority in our lives, raising our children, and being on a team called “family”. It’s our hearts desire to think of the other as more important than self, accepting the roles that God desires for us to be in, while creating an example for our son and daughter. These things are done in the hope that we will leave a Godly legacy for our children, and also our grandchildren in the future.
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