Round Two

This past year has been  filled with uncertainty and prayer. In October of 2010, I went in for my yearly oncology check up, which I absolutely dread, it’s as if there is a gray cloud continually hanging over my head.

The cloud started to pour when I found out on that my tumor marker counts were up to a 52 when they should be no higher than a 36. The next day I was immediately scheduled for a P.E.T scan which detects if there could be any cancer lurking in my body. I was told they would not have the test results until the following Monday morning when I could come in at 9am. Over the phone I told the nurse, “Why, so you can tell me the bad news?” “No she said, we are thinking positive so we can tell you the good news.” Monday morning November the 15th, 2010 came and the gray clouds started showing signs of turning into a very violent storm. As Bill and I sat in the doctors office, I new something was not right because the doctor was taking longer than normal to come into the exam room. As she came in she said with sadness in her voice that the cancer had returned. Forget about the violent storm…..hello F5 tornado. I remained amazingly calm for my anxiety ridden, nature as she told me I had 4-6 bone lesions. She told me there was hope, and for it to come back, it was not as bad as what it could have been. All major organs were fine and now the treatment would begin.

In the winter of 2010 I received two shots that put me into menopause and stopped my estrogen production. My poor family did a wonderful job adjusting to my new mood swings. My cancer likes estrogen, so going into menopause, was for the purpose of my tumors to shrink. I had 10 rounds of radiation on one spot on my back. I also received a  new oral chemo therapy drug called Femara,  to replace my old one of 6 years. In chemotherapy room of the doctors office, I have been receiving monthly insufions of Zometa, which is a medicine to make the bones stronger. The doctor stated that doing all this should hopefully put it at bay for awhile. 

In February of 2011, I had a complete hysterectomy for the purpose of stopping my estrogen production and therefor, stopping the cancer growth. Last year was filled with good times, happy memories and tears all mixed together. Hot flashes are a new part of my everyday life now. Last winter our furnace went out and my family jokingly stated that, “they would gather around me for warmth.” As of my last P.E.T scan in November of 2011, the cancer had greatly shrank in size. The only cancer still visible is on my sternum which is diminishing. 

I do not know what the future holds for my family and I. However, I do know one thing……..God has us in the palm of His hands. Each day I want to make sure that I am creating lasting and impressionable moments for our children, as my husband and I teach them what it means to follow Christ.This is not a journey I would choose to be on, but as long as I am on it I will give thanks and glorify God. I know it will not be an easy journey, there will be days where I will want to be left alone, with just me and my chocolate chip cookies. Days where I will just want to cry, and question why. But most importantly through the storm I want all my days to be treasured as precious gifts given by God, liven to the fullest to glorify his name. He will be with me through this, through the good, bad and the ugly. As I continue on this journey, and share my thoughts with you, it is God that will be carrying me along the ocean shore, where only one set of footprints can be seen, just like he’s doing now.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11