Welcome! Thank you so much for joining us for our “Legacies” series!
Please take a moment to head over to the Encouraging Home for our GIVEAWAY!
I want to welcome Vicky from the Westra World. Vicky is a kindred spirit to me because she is also a breast cancer survivor. She fights everyday to live her life to the fullest and make the most of each moment. Please take a moment to visit her blog to be encouraged and inspired by the strength and spirit of this dear sister in Christ.
I’m whispering in their ears a lot lately, repeating the same messages. “When you need me and I am not there, you know you can always find me in your heart.” “I love you to the moon and back forever, etc.”I have such an urgency for them to know my heart.
My youngest son is 10. Our relationship has grown especially tender. He still holds my hand when we walk to the park. He brings his blanket and curls up beside me to watch “cooking shows,” watching and pretending not to notice when I doze off. He has changed a lot these past few months, in all the ways 10 year olds do, and in ways no mother wants for her child.
My 12-year-old is changing too. He is taller and faster. He consumes enormous quantities of food and is still starving 5 minutes later. But he has turned down 3 birthday parties and two sleep overs with his friends. Instead he sneaks upstairs to our room and sleeps on the floor next to my bed, just to be near me. He is stronger on the outside, but it belies how soft he is on the inside. My heart swells and aches for him.
The lump in my breast appeared December of 2010. I knew the feel, the slightly jello-like wiggle encased in what I assumed-to be cysts again. I kept a careful watch on them. I cut back on caffeine. I got enough sleep. And yet they grew. In March of 2011, it was time to see the doctor.
I recall at that time, I feel no panic, no worry. I’ve been here before. But urgency rears its ugly head. I am sent immediately for an ultrasound. The ultrasound tech, briefly examines me, then walks out to speak with the doctor. She is somber, quiet when she come back. She flips on the ultrasound image. It’s then that I see the blood-red angry splashes leaping from the screen. “We think it has many characteristics of cancer… no, we know, she says, its cancer. I’m sorry to tell you, you have breast cancer. The doctor agreed I could tell you. I think you should be prepared. A lot is going to happen very quickly now.
How am I going to do this? I am filled with regret, worry, concern. My husband, my kids, my mom. What will this do to them? She, the tech, is compassion and concern. And it dawns on me, she is brave. She made a decision to be the one to tell me, and not wait for the doctor. I marvel at how she did that. And she hasn’t left my side. In all my blubbery, salty-teared sobs, she stands witness, as my heart breaks. Yet a seed plants in my head. She is also courage. And she is showing me how to do this.
Later, it occurs to me, I chose the word “alive,” for my word of the year. I went with the word “alive” after my Dad died. I simply wanted to feel “alive” in everything that I do. “Fighting to be” alive was not how I hoped to experience the word. Life is funny like that. And oddly, 15 months past my diagnosis, breast cancer kicked open the door to feeling my aliveness in ways I couldn’t have anticipated.
What I want to model for my children is that I am living a legacy, not just leaving a legacy.
After much reflection, I realize I have both an urgency to live, while at that same time, wanting to slow down enough to savor every moment of each day. And the key to really doing that? Expanding your time, instead of worrying about extending your time.
I feel more and notice more in the tiny moments of my day. The sweet smell of sunshine and sweat mixed in my son’s hair after playing outside in the sun. How golden the sunshine is in August. How water lapping at my feet soothes my aching soul. How joy tickles and spills over when you delight in the small. And how gratitude in everything, even cancer, leads to wanting for nothing.
I have discovered grace can be found even in the most painful and seemingly hopeless times. Like the time my youngest got up in front of his entire second grade class at sharing time and boldly told them his mom had cancer. And that she was going to get better. The seeds of grace sewn by my second grader.
That was just the beginning of a tidal wave of grace and blessings I would receive, and cancer has made me take notice. I’ve learned to live my moments, feel my aliveness. Put my “grace glasses” on and live my best day today. To expand. Count my gifts. I am finding you can see them in the tiniest moments. If you are open to seeing them, they are all around us.
Bio: Vicky is a stay-at-home mom to two active boys ages 10 and 12, and is wife to her husband Rick. She was born in Fargo, ND, and spent her childhood in Moorhead, MN. She graduated from Concordia College with a BS in Psychology and earned her MS in School Psychology at Minnesota State University Moorhead. She then followed her husband to Idaho for 10 years where she worked in Adolescent Psychology. They moved back to Moorhead in 2003 to raise their boys. When not hauling boys to the hockey arena or the golf course, Vicky loves to read, take photos and write. She was recently diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer and is currently undergoing treatment at Roger Maris Cancer Center in Fargo. She chronicles all of her daily life adventures at http://thewestraworld.blogspot.com/.
Please click the following links to read previous posts in the “Legacies” series.
Day One ~Preparing to Leave A Godly Legacy~
Day Two ~A Mom’s Faithfulness~
I hope you have felt uplifted and renewed while visiting Leaving A Legacy. I want to take a moment to invite you to get additional updates that are not posted here on the blog by connecting with us through Facebook and Twitter . You can also subscribe to Leaving A Legacy and have the latest posts delivered right to your email or RSS feed.
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Women Living Well
I love that your word for the year was ALIVE. Great choice!
Thank you Lyli! I chose Light this year and I have truly experienced a blessed amount of light shining in and around me! Blessings to you!
Beautifully written. I have never met Vicky personally, but she is my Sister-Friend. Her legacy will be one of love for family and friends.
I only have one link on my blog, and it is to sweet Vicky’s blog.
Hugs and smiles,
Jackie
Sweet friend, how you bless me with your words! Lots of love and healing sent your way Miss Jackie- thank you for honoring me 🙂
Shari, I think it’s wonderful to see this precious fellowship here. May the Lord bless our work for Him and may we find much joy in serving Him! Love & prayers, in Jesus, Cynthia
Hi Cynthia, I hoped you would see the fellowship Shari has encouraged and supported here. Welcome and thank you for taking the time to leave a comment! Blessings to you!
Cynthia~
Thank you for your kind comments! It’s all for Him!
Blessings~
Shari
lovely, my dear! shari, thanks for giving vicky the opportunity to bear witness to what she has experienced.
Jenn~
You are welcome. I would do anything for Vicky.
Blessings~
Shari
Jenn, thank you so much for your lovely comment! So fun to see you show up here and as always support and encourage me 🙂
I have been following Vicki, but didn’t realize all the background. This is a powerful story of many things, but it’s the relationships that stand out to me right now. Vicki’s with her sons reaches deep into my heart. However, the one that gets me even more is that technician who had the courage and Jesus-like love to tell Vicki rather than put V. through possibly hours of anguish knowing something was wrong, but having to wait for the doctor to confirm it. This shows how if we follow God’s prompting of us—what I call a gentle elbow in my ribcage—we can minister in countless ways–some we may not even realize. Bless that tech, Vicki for writing her legacy, and you for sponsoring this on your blog.
This is a truly wonderful blog full of blessings.
Thank you.
Hi Beth, thank you for your gracious words. Yes, the technician truly oozed a Christ-like presence for me and showed me how I could do it and that I wouldn’t do it alone. Time and again that truth is still evident. I’m touched to see so many show up here today and share in this legacy leaving/living fellowship.
Thank you Beth!
What a gal Vicky is! I’ve never had the chance to meet her personally, but I’ve been her blog friend for a while now….and I too am from North Dakota. She is such a dear, sweet person. Someone I feel lucky to “know”. She is a true inspiration!
Oh Jen, how sweet of you to read and comment here! Thank you for your kind words- I have so enjoyed getting to know you and your fun family!
Vicky~ Your strength, spirit, and wisdom inspire me. Thank you so much for sharing your story today!
Blessings~
Shari
Hi Shari,
Its truly an honor! Thank you so much for asking me and for building this beautiful community of fellowship! I have no doubt your blog will just continue to grow and inspire and bless so many!
I second Jackie’s comments. We consider Vicky our true friend though we’ve never met her face-to-face (hope to fix that one of these days). She is a source of constant inspiration and makes me think about life and see it through her eyes. We are all praying for a complete healing but, if not, a lifetime remission. Vicky is a precious person and she shares her life and family with us in ways that celebrate and encourage. Thank you for featuring her today.
Robynn,
Well you know I adore you and can always count on your constant support and life-affirming words! Thank you for blessing me – always! Blessings to you friend! xoxo
Hello Vicky, I came to visit you today as I am now able to comment and I amm so glad I did. Once again I am inspired by you and your family, sending nothing but love your way. hugs.
Cinner! Oh my goodness, how fun to see you here! So good of you to come and read and leave such a gracious comment. Thank you Cinner- really good to see you! Hugs to you 🙂
So wonderful to hear your story, Vicky.
Thank you Jenifer! Blessings to you!
I have been following Vicki’s journey and she is SUCH an amazing inspiration and role model. If I ever heard those words I would want to call HER. So much courage and faith in that little body! God’s GRACE in person. XO, Pinky
Pinky- oh how you bless me with your grace-filled words! Thank you sweet friend. Blessings and love to you!
You are a true inspiration Vicky. And I loved finding out you are a psychologist. Is that why every time I read one of your posts I feel good. Love you, and the way you express yourself through words and pictures. And your boys, wow, just wow. Hope your summer is going well. I am going to link to your blog in my next post. Your writing is so wonderful. A true gift that keeps giving.
Lilly- you’re such a encouragement and support to me. Thank you for your gracious words and for loyally following me all these years! xoxo
I follow your blog, Vicky, and I am inspired by you every post.
I have been dealing with a constant headache, 24/7, for 8 months, but I refuse to let it get me down.
When I start getting discouraged, I think of you, and I know that if you can deal with pain, and uncertainty, and still be grateful and happy, then so can i.
Love you, Vicky. You’re special. I don’t think anyone you have ever touched will ever forget you.
Oh Hilary, I’m so sorry to hear about your headache. I will say a prayer for some relief! To be honest I have been so lucky in that I have had very minimal pain and what I do have gets well managed. But the choice to choose to be happy outside of the suffering is one that can be made again and again. God’s blessings to you! Praying for answers for you- for healing and relief!
Your courage, love, understanding, and caring about others when you too are faced with many challenges totally amazes me! How I have wished I would have been able to come your way and spend a few hours with you in person! When I get a bit discouraged I try and remember some of our discussion and how you choose joy even when life is throwing challenges at you. Love you Vicky!
Verna, you’re so sweet for supporting me and loving me the way you do! Thank you for coming and reading here and leaving me such sweet and gracious words! One day Verna, our paths will cross and we will spend the time together- I have no doubt! xoxo