Throughout the month of October, I’ll be sharing my ongoing journey of overcoming anxiety, and how the Lord has been working on my heart. It’s my prayer that the Lord will speak to you during this time, and draw you closer to Him, as we walk this road of life together. To follow along, and to catch up on any posts you might have missed, you can join me here at Fear or Faith, You Choose ~ A 31 Day Journey to Overcoming Anxiety.
I realized that the deepest spiritual lessons are not learned by His letting us have our own way in the end, but by Him making us wait, bearing with us in love and patience until we are able to honestly pray what He taught His disciples to pray: Thy will be done. ~ Elisabeth Elliot
I remember the day like it was yesterday. It was Monday August 4th, 2003. My anxiety level was at an all time high. We were on our way home from getting doughnuts and I knew that I would be receiving the phone call when we got home.
The phone call that would determine everything.
When I got home there was a message on the answering machine telling me to call my doctor. I just knew deep inside that this wasn’t going to turn out how I had planned.
When the doctor got on the phone he said the dreaded words…..you have breast cancer.
Those 4 words changed my life forever.
They created a world where doctors, chemotherapy, radiation, and surgeries would permanently be webbed into my who I am.
They also created something else.
A fear of dying, a fear of the physical and emotional scars, a fear of how this would change my family, a fear of not being able to have any more children, and a fear of loosing my hair.
The beginning of turning away from fear, and walking towards faith, came with a verse that the Lord gave me.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. ~ Isaiah 43:2 (NIV)
With this verse the Lord spoke to me and said, “I’m here. This journey will be long and hard, but I’ll be with you every step of the way. I’ll never leave your side.”
Traumatic experiences, they can rock our world with earthquake like proportions and leave our lives in utter rubble. How we react to the rubble is up to us. We can either worry and fret and let fear fill every pore of our beings, or we can turn from the heart stopping anxiety and let God into our broken hearts.
Whether it be sickness, a loss of a job, a divorce, a loss of a home, God is there. He has a plan. We need to let go and let Him take control as we watch everything unfold.
Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that had come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. ~ 1 Peter 4:12-14 (NIV)