I have been quiet around here lately. These last two years have been challenging for me.
These past 24 months have been filled with…
- My mother being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.
- Selling her home and moving her into and assisted living facility.
- Dealing with a stage IV breast cancer diagnosis and all the uncertainty that it brings.
- Side affects of chemotherapy.
- Financial difficulties.
- Family difficulties.
- Struggles in relationships.
- The fear of not being good enough.
Put all of these things together and it does not make for a very good combination.
The last point, the fear of not being good enough, is what has really put a halt to my writing.
I went to a writers conference in 2013, my first conference actually. The writers conference was wonderful. I made new friends, gleaned new information, met with an agent, met with published authors, and had an all around good time.
However, there was one thing that was not so good.
In meeting with one of the authors at the conference, I got a swift dose of reality. While we were having lunch together, he told me how difficult it is to get memoirs published, (which is what I would like to do), and how certain agents won’t even consider looking at wanna-be authors who are vying to get attention about their life’s story. Now, keep in mind that this author never even read my writing, he had no idea whether it was good, bad, or just mediocre; he was making a generalized statement about the subject.
However, as the conversation went further, my heart sunk lower. In the back of my mind I thought, I can’t do this. I’m just not good enough. I am not well known; my words are not as eloquent as other more seasoned authors.
And that’s when the stop sign went up in my head.
This. Just. Won’t. Work.
And with that, I allowed the enemy of lies to creep into my mind to weave a web of confusion that caused the flow of words to stop. I’ve been able to write a few posts here and there over the past few years, but not as many as I would have liked, and I have not covered as many topics as I would have liked.
As I was praying over the past few weeks about what the Lord would have me do over the next coming year, I felt as if He told me it was time to focus.
It was time to stop believing lies and it was time to focus on the Jesus.
My one word for 2015, focus, will cover all areas of my life.
- My walk with God.
- My relationship with my family.
- Everyday activities
- My health.
- My writing.
In whatever I do, the Lord told me told me it was time to put my focus on Him.
No matter how I felt, it was time to stop being stagnate, time to take my eyes off of self, and time to focus on the tasks at hand, moving forward in His name and for His glory.
As 2015 begins I walk straight ahead in faith, looking at each day as a new adventure, excited for what the Lord will bring. I look forward to taking life as it comes, drowning out the voices of the world and listening only to the voice of God as He leads and guides me to do His will.
One day at a time. One step at a time. I will focus on what the Lord puts in front of me. No more worrying about failure. No more comparison games.
With that I invite you to come along this journey with me as I share my breast cancer journey, the good, the bad and the ugly of it all. I’ll also be writing on how we can leave a legacy for our children and others around us, as well as Christian encouragement that the Father places on my heart.
It’s time to be real, it’s time to be honest, it’s time to yank down the barriers, and the web of confusion.
It’s time to put my focus straight ahead on one thing alone, Jesus Christ the King.
Won’t you join me?
What’s your word for 2015?
Encouragement found in Scripture for this upcoming year…
“Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.” Colossians 3:2 (ESV)
“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33 (ESV)
“Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you.” Proverbs 4:25 (ESV)
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Philippians 4:8 (ESV)
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:1-2 (ESV)
My one word Button was generously donated by Traci Michele, at TraciMicheledot.com.